One might think you'd get used to it after a while. I thought so too, in fact I thought I had gotten used to it. I thought it was like with other stuff you want, after a while you'll forget about it and return to your normal life. Forgetting all about it. Jag är bra på att glömma, på att glömma nästan allt. Almost being the keyword. I suppose constantly being reminded plays a major part in not forgetting. Maybe I should just cast everything aside? A clean slate would be nice. Unfortunatley I never close doors, that's one thing I hate about myself in this aspect, I believe. The only thing I really want is out of my grasp, could drive a man mad, it could.
Man glömmer inte men man tröttnar, som fan. Man blir jävligt trött på det, känns som hela världen utom just jag. It just doesnt feel fair. Visserligen så är det inte rättvist att barnen i afrika dör heller men jag skulle fan inte tveka att byta med dem atm. It never goes away, it is like a constant feeling of being watched. Not watched but tainted. It is like an evergrowing tumour. It doesnt decay with time, as one might want it to. It grows and festers in your rotting mind. Bah, jag ger fan upp snart.